Friday, January 29, 2010

My Precious Mom Went Home to Jesus Today...

No fancy fonts this time around, just a simple, although deeply poignant, announcement to make--along with an earnest request for your prayers...

Well, as God so beautifully orchestrates His plans, changing the direction of ours even as we, His followers, balk and whine and sometimes even wail in protest, we did not go to Florida, nor do we plan to. My mother died this morning, and even now, in "Heaven Time", has probably found a piano on which to accompany some supremely delightful choral group. She is with Jesus after an approximate 10-year upward battle with Alzheimer's. In one respect I am rejoicing with her homegoing; yet, on the other, so wish I could visit her one last time. In fact, ironically, my grandboy and I were on our way to see her this morning when the call came in that she'd just died. (I was only five minutes away.) I was so shocked. And shocked that I was shocked. I thought that I'd prepared myself in every way mentally and emotionally. You go over and over each possible scenario as you think about how "the end" will come about, and then when it finally comes, you find you are not prepared at all. In my head I truly thought she would just go on and on and on. (And she does and will go on and on, just not here. Selfishly, I want to rub her arm once more or lightly touch the top of her head as she lies there sleeping, but now I've run out of opportunities to do that.)

I thought that I would be strong when I walked into the adult foster care facility where she's lived out the last 3 1/2 years. I had my 1, almost 2-year-old, grandson in my arms, so I had to guard him against trauma, but in actuality, when I walked into her room and saw her lying there, mouth open, unmoving and so, so peaceful-looking, I fell at her bedside and started to wail, "Mommy, Mommy!" My goodness, I haven't called her that since I was a wee child. Never expected that little girl in me to come leaping out. Thankfully, my weeping didn't faze Gavin, especially when one of the workers offered him a cookie, and off he went.

God is ever so good, though, and I feel so, so at peace and utterly assured of seeing her again. She was the most precious woman of God, loving, caring, highly intelligent, multi-talented, compassionate, a voracious reader, a generous, stay-at-home missionary (giving to so many worthy causes), having a huge, tender heart for the world, a strong, impenetrable faith, a deep, unconditional love for her children and grandchildren--and, boy, could she get the giggles when the moment hit her just right. Sometimes she laughed till she cried.

There will never be another Dorothy Baker, that is for sure.

I have just spent hours going through photos, and it is now 2:30 a.m., and would you believe I did not get one wink of sleep last night? So, now I must crawl into bed with Cecil and snuggle in for a few hours before going to the funeral home to pick out a casket. Sounds morbid, huh, but I am up for the task--with God ever closeby, offering strength and courage for each new challenge. Mom would have been 97 in May, by the way.

This year she will be "Home" for her birthday.

********

I love you all so very much and thank you for your prayers of concern and love...

Shar

14 comments:

Rel said...

Shar ~ you are in my thoughts and prayers. I understand a little of the sadness and the joy having lost my dear Grandma in similar fashion a few months ago. Praying God's comfort and peace for you.

Love and hugs

The Mihalek's said...

So sorry for your loss Shar! But what a wonderful life she lived, glorifying God! I remember going up to Manton camp with Kendra and staying with "Grandma Q". We had so much fun with her! She is now dancing and singing in Heaven, where she has wanted to go over the past few years. May God surround you and your family during this time. Praying for you all!
Staci

Jan said...

I know all too well the bittersweetness that one feels when losing a loved one who has suffered. On Jan. 12th my cousin lost her battle with cancer. She had been diagnosed over 5 years ago and fought a valiant fight. I am sorry for the loss you feel Sharlene. My prayers are with you. I rejoice however that your mom is no longer suffering and is now in the presence of our blessed Savior.

The Luckeys said...

A great tribute for us to read about your 'mama', Shar. Thanks for sharing your heart thru words... again, but this time in a very personal way.

Christi Doyon said...

I know I haven't seen your beautiful face (in real life) in a while, but I just want to say that I am praying for you and your family. You know that God wipes each one of your tears from your face and Jesus holds you in His arms. May our "Abba" God be with you this week as you grieve, yet celebrate her life!
Christi

Cindy said...

Your mother sounds like a beautiful person. I am sorry for your loss and I'll definitely keep you and your family in my prayers.

Shannon said...

So sorry to hear about that Shar! So glad she's with Jesus

Sandi Elzinga said...

My prayers are with you Shar. When my grandmother died and my mom heard the news, she cried out, "Oh, my little mother!" Thank you for being so candid about your reaction at your mom's bedside. And when I picked out my husband's casket, it didn't seem morbid because my beloved would be in it.
May God strengthen you.

Sharlene MacLaren said...

My precious friends, I want to thank all of you for taking the time to leave your comments. They are all so priceless to me--a sweet assurance of how God uses His children to help ease our hurting hearts.

CatMom said...

Dear precious Shar,
I read your post through tears, and my heart goes out to you in the loss of your sweet Mom. But what a tremendous comfort and joy to know you WILL see her again one day in Heaven!! Praise the Lord!! Please know I am lifting you up in prayer, my friend, and am always "here in Georgia" for you. Many hugs and much love, Patti Jo

duhpaynes said...

Sharlene~ I am so sorry :( I experienced almost the same thing when my mom passed away 9 yrs ago from cancer. I, too, fell at her bedside calling her name. There's just something so sad when you lose your mom's earthly presence. I rejoice with you that your Mom knew Jesus and is with Him now! May you feel God's peace and comfort as the days and months go by. love and prayers, Anne

Carla Gade said...

I'm sorry to hear of this and will keep you in my prayers.

Kirby Chittenden said...

What a wonderful celebration of her life last Sunday. You remain in our prayers.

Patty said...

Dearest Shar,

I usually communicate to you through Facebook. However I am taking a break from Facebook for just a few weeks. I previously communicated with you through Shoutlife. Tonight, however, I found your profile on Twitter which led me to this blog and information.

I just now, tonight (Feb 22) read your most precious tribute announcing your mother's safe arrival to the arms of Jesus. Shar you are ever in my thoughts.

I am sending you much love and of course you know I am praying for you and your family. If I were there I would hold your hand and we could sip tea together and chat. Since I am not I will keep you close to my heart.

Take care my dear friend.

Much Love, Patty