My Precious Mom Went Home to Jesus Today...
No fancy fonts this time around, just a simple, although deeply poignant, announcement to make--along with an earnest request for your prayers...
Well, as God so beautifully orchestrates His plans, changing the direction of ours even as we, His followers, balk and whine and sometimes even wail in protest, we did not go to Florida, nor do we plan to. My mother died this morning, and even now, in "Heaven Time", has probably found a piano on which to accompany some supremely delightful choral group. She is with Jesus after an approximate 10-year upward battle with Alzheimer's. In one respect I am rejoicing with her homegoing; yet, on the other, so wish I could visit her one last time. In fact, ironically, my grandboy and I were on our way to see her this morning when the call came in that she'd just died. (I was only five minutes away.) I was so shocked. And shocked that I was shocked. I thought that I'd prepared myself in every way mentally and emotionally. You go over and over each possible scenario as you think about how "the end" will come about, and then when it finally comes, you find you are not prepared at all. In my head I truly thought she would just go on and on and on. (And she does and will go on and on, just not here. Selfishly, I want to rub her arm once more or lightly touch the top of her head as she lies there sleeping, but now I've run out of opportunities to do that.)
I thought that I would be strong when I walked into the adult foster care facility where she's lived out the last 3 1/2 years. I had my 1, almost 2-year-old, grandson in my arms, so I had to guard him against trauma, but in actuality, when I walked into her room and saw her lying there, mouth open, unmoving and so, so peaceful-looking, I fell at her bedside and started to wail, "Mommy, Mommy!" My goodness, I haven't called her that since I was a wee child. Never expected that little girl in me to come leaping out. Thankfully, my weeping didn't faze Gavin, especially when one of the workers offered him a cookie, and off he went.
God is ever so good, though, and I feel so, so at peace and utterly assured of seeing her again. She was the most precious woman of God, loving, caring, highly intelligent, multi-talented, compassionate, a voracious reader, a generous, stay-at-home missionary (giving to so many worthy causes), having a huge, tender heart for the world, a strong, impenetrable faith, a deep, unconditional love for her children and grandchildren--and, boy, could she get the giggles when the moment hit her just right. Sometimes she laughed till she cried.
There will never be another Dorothy Baker, that is for sure.
I have just spent hours going through photos, and it is now 2:30 a.m., and would you believe I did not get one wink of sleep last night? So, now I must crawl into bed with Cecil and snuggle in for a few hours before going to the funeral home to pick out a casket. Sounds morbid, huh, but I am up for the task--with God ever closeby, offering strength and courage for each new challenge. Mom would have been 97 in May, by the way.
This year she will be "Home" for her birthday.
I love you all so very much and thank you for your prayers of concern and love...