EVER TRIED TO OPEN A FAIRY CARRIAGE?

Well, let me tell you, it's not easy! First of all they are wired shut from every which direction, starting with the wheels, then the doors, and then the roof. Even the fairy, yep, sealed off, impossible to get at--unless you happen to have a crowbar--or very strong acrylic nails such as I have!

What am I talking about, you ask?

THIS!!!



It's a Fisher Price Fairy Carriage for children 12-36 months, in other words, a toy for babies.

Okay, I have one question. WHY DO THEY HAVE TO MAKE CHILDREN'S TOYS SO HARD TO GET AT? CAN I GET AN AMEN? I can understand why they put high security on things such as CDs, DVDs, electronic instruments, cameras, etc. I'm sure the retail industry has had its fair share of thievery in these departments. But come on, how many one-year-olds do you know that are going to walk up to a big boxed toy, pick it up, carry it down the aisle, and proceed to walk out the door with it? Besides that, they'd NEVER in a million years be able to play with it even if they did manage that impossible feat because they'd NEVER GET IT OUT OF THE BOX!!!!

Okay -- this is Thursday, baby-sitting day for Gavin, my one-year-old grandboy. (No, I did not buy the fairy carriage for him.) You remember my blog about the "burn circle" on my counter and how I tried to blame him for my absentmindedness in laying a hot skillet on the countertop? Well, TODAY I decided it might be good to get out of the house, go shopping, do things that wouldn't require my having to file an insurance claim. SOOOO, we went to Target. And, of course, when you have your grandchild with you, you absolutely MUST drive down the toy aisles, right? He pointed at everything because that was what he wanted Grandma to put in the cart. But I picked just one of things he pointed at -- a TRUCK, of course. But then I thought about my grandgirl, so we went to the "pink" aisle. And that's how I happened upon the fairy carriage.

Well, we got back home, sat down on the floor, Gavin beside me, and proceeded to rip, pry, cut, slice, and chip at the cardboard package holding the truck. THEN I had to turn the thing over and begin the process of unwinding one wire after another, each wrapped around wheels and everything imaginable. (I tell you, a stand-up comedian could have a heyday with this one.) In his impatience to get at his brand new toy, Gavin started screaming, and I started trying to reason with him. "See this wire?" I said. "We need to unwind it from this, and then we need to unwind it from that, and then we have to move to the next wire--and the next--and the next. And then in about one year, after I finally get it out of the box, you can play with your toy. How's that?"

Okay, so that process took a good 6 or 7 minutes, although I didn't actually time it.

While he played with his brand new truck, which incidentally did not move forward as it was supposed to (I refuse to take it back to the store, though, because that would mean I would have to open another one!!!), decided to unwrap Lexi's toy and time exactly how long it took me to free the little carriage, fairy, basket of fruit, and flower stem from its cardboard PRISON. So, armed with heavy-duty kitchen sheers and my acrylic nails, I started the job at exactly 3:55. I worked as fast as I could unwinding wires from these little plastic dohickees, pulling, and prying. I even cut my finger under the nail till it bled while trying to get a piece of plastic off the little fruit basket. OUCH! Do you know what time it was by the time I finally finished unwrapping this $15 toy? SEVEN minutes after FOUR -- which means it took me 12 stinkin' minutes to do the job! WHAT IN THE WORLD? Is this really necessary?

I'm tempted to send this blog to the Fisher Price Company and ask their opinion on the matter. What do you think? Anybody else ever run into this problem? Granted, my hubby would probably have made faster work of removing the toy, but I dare say the majority of people removing these things are moms and grandmas.

How 'bout we organize a march on Washington, DC? (haha) Wrong place? Well, okay then, what's say we all meet in Fisher Price's parking lot, say, sometime before Christmas?